|Cryin' real tears for mah fans!|
I have never postponed a show in my life, but the shock of somebody getting bigger headlines and more column inches than me during my world-wide tour just made me feel ill. Thanks to Angelina Jolie's selfishness and headline-hogging attention-seeking news, millions of my fans in Antwerp couldn't get to see me perform. My life is so hard sometimes but I want to share some of the pain with you. I was bravely trying to put on a pair of strappy sandals all by myself when my PR team broke the terrible news about Angelina. Hearing that she had her own op-ed in the New York Times just devastated me! What? I had so many questions. How could this be? Why have I never been offered this opportunity? How could I possibly go out and perform in front of my adoring fans with this eating away at my ego? No offence to Ms Jolie, but she ruined my day and all the many fans who were hoping to see me that night. I whipped my rumour-production team into action and while they wrapped me in more cotton-wool, (because yep, I might be pretending to be pregnant again!) I spent the night thanking the Lord for keepin' me humble and praying that Angelina never knows real pain - the pain of disappointing her fans.