|Sssshhh...Tom's singing to me....|
Well, the new Mission Improbable movie came out, and of course I had to go and feast my eyes on the walking, talking Boy Wonder that is Tom Cruise. I was camped out in the cinema for 2 days - that's how long the movie lasted, but I didn't care. I LOVE Tom. He puts the swish in my tail, and the twitch in my little pink nose. He is catnip for my soul. At night when my
Anyway, Tom/Ethan is back in action putting his precious LIFE on the line for the IMF. (That's the Impossible Missions Force - yeah, I thought he was working for the International Monetary Fund (yawn) for a while too!) More importantly, his Floppy Fringe is back! In a nutshell, Tom saves us all from NUCLEAR destruction while having a succession of seriously good hair days. I said NUCLEAR destruction, did you get that? That's how SERIOUS it all was. Oh, what he endured on our behalf in the fight against Global Terrorism - he even had to wear a Black Leather Hoodie at one point! The little globetrotter diced with death and danger in Moscow, Dubai, Mumbai and the whole time, his hair was IMMACULATE.
I've noticed that Tom likes to either wear skimpy little vests or to bare his torso at every opportunity. He did look quite manly and muscular, but sometimes, (maybe it was the camera angle?) he just looked like a very muscly toddler. Very narrow shoulders for a man carrying so much on them, I thought worriedly digging into my popcorn. At one point the fearless darling was barefoot, daintily skipping through freezing puddles in Moscow.( I always check out Tom's tootsies to see if he has succumbed to the lure of Cuban Heels.) If he had stubbed a toe we'd all be dead now! (because of that NUCLEAR thing). In one scene, his/my fetish for uniforms reared it's ugly head and he dressed up as a Russian General. For once we got to see what he would look like if he aged normally like the rest of us. Now I know why he strives so hard to look like he's permanently 35!
Of course there are always a few flies in the ointment. As a foil to Tom's multi-talented GORGEOUSNESS, there was the obligatory "funny" English actor thrown into the mix as the techie whizz. And whilst I was on my knees Praising the Lord it wasn't the manically repellent Russell Brand, I loathed this effort at a humour injection. Unbelievably, he did not meet a well-deserved grisly end, but survived and will probably be around to annoy me in the next outing. Damn his gingery hide!
However, in what must be a cinematic first, the girly actor/agent didn't cry every 10 seconds, lose all her clothes, sprain her ankle, or get pregnant.
Jeremy Renner was the other agent named Brandt, and he had a SECRET. He was TORTURED BY GUILT! I'd liked to have tortured him some more. He scrunched up his face a lot and looked like he was being tasered by guilt from the INSIDE! He had so much INNER TURMOIL it was painful to watch, because he kept EXPLAINING his inner turmoil to anybody who would listen. I clamped my paws firmly over my ears as I didn't want to encourage him.
There were lots of exciting action sequences all involving heroic Tom. He LAUGHS in the face of danger, and doesn't use stuntmen. He is so brave (cue girly, kittenish sighs). Tom had to climb the outside of the worlds tallest building, using only a pair of Suri's old ballet slippers and some rubber oven gloves. Tom clearly has a head for heights. Don't forget he likes tall women, and has had sherpa-like experience of scaling the glacial carapace that is Nicole Kidman. Now he's playing house with tall and beautiful Katie Holmes, so he probably wears crampons to bed. I always worry that Katie will roll over in her sleep and smother little Tom or inadvertantly crush him with her bodybuilder thighs. ( YES, these are the things that keep me awake!). Be on your guard Tom - for God's sake at least put a bolster in between you. (You can insert your own smutty joke or image there, I'm keeping my mind pure for Tom).
|Our Love Is Pure....|
HAPPY NEW YEAR!